Belly Punching And Vomiting

hatred of me and other gems

You know something? if there is something I do not bank, is to have many flaws (though Santi tell me not to count them, another shortcoming is that I can not help it), if he had no memory of chicken, and remember all that I am on the d & # 237; to how to put on a list, I think I would go for the number 1000, to say little. If we speak of a list of virtues ... I do not think over 20.

And no, not that I value, is nothing but the truth, and sometimes the truth is beautiful, a sometimes (as in this case) can not be, and so am I, so eh always said, I made imperfection teenager or woman that I think, hehe. Sometimes people do not understand how there are so damn perfect, without error, without a flaw, without anything, the kind that you hate just because a part of you even admire. And second, am I that I have of defects everything they have virtues.

course, is that people like me have much to envy others, I'd settle for having one thing I do not know, a nice smile, expressive eyes, a talent. .. I know I, but no, I have that stupid smile only way to one side more I practice smiling on the opposite side I can not, or think I'm snarled ; endo (in fact, gruñíay girl was smiling my way ...) and on both sides just smile when I think of Sam as a way of showing I'm happy, but unfortunately is not voluntary, and my eyes do not say anything, from high had to have the most common eye color of the fucking world, so even that. And talent, I said, and hey-I have found. Not one.

is one of the things that I thank my mother, despite their million and one reasons to be envious, and I have, most of the time, I'm not destructive, I do not go around saying "if I can not have / be this or that, you do not "Oh yeah, it's nice to realize that at least I'm a bit more desirable than others. While that does not make me entirely desirable right? (No, not really. And if you do not believe me ask all my friends ... well, not Laura. Sure they're sick of my hobbies / personalities changing / bipolar / egotism / blah blah blah .)

You know something else? I hate when on way I get well, and not that long lashes out against me, directly or not, if that is the only time where achievement to write a lot, you see? This blog is what? "60 entries? and the longest if not test, these are my ramblings-like puking butterflies-in fact I think you said hey, I just do not get tired of hating me for being so .. . well, as I am. Because finally, if this is not being crazy, I know it is time. Sometimes I think if I'm not an asylum, is because my family has a fear "that say" not limits. Living with a local would not be a limit, no sir. We support the crazy, and nobody says it is.

The downside is they can not hide for long I'm crazy, because I literally think and behave as such, perhaps that's why we always tell me "shut up" at least once, and when we go with important people tell me "where you say something ..." haha, although I admit I love that they do not know why. But hey, is that sometimes they do not say because they fear they notice I'm crazy, if not more on the say, and hey learned to live with the family aversion. In fact, the other day I went to the doctor put that little song "I love you - Nigga" diag, I hate. We were on the bus and said "Well, now I have to hear barking dogs in my house, I do not know how people pay to hear that" I hear all the bus, because I turned to see, and my mother made a face of earth swallow me, who only managed to say "shut up, shut up!"

Sometimes I wonder to all this: for the hell am I here? I do not know, maybe they needed clogs in the world, this might be a good mission (and if I'm good at meeting): clog haha. Oh yeah, put a sign that says: do you need who interfere? 24x7x365 is clogged. Nah, on second thought I doubt anyone who wants to get in the way haha. Not in my school, which is like the 3rd see in this year that I want to run (and that this year, than in the past were 1 they wanted and they did hahaha 1) duty & # 237; to learn to keep my mouth shut and be sheep and do whatever pleases them to their majesties.

But this right, well ... I know, eh never had good manners. In my house they spend complaining about the way I answer ... in fact ... everywhere.

addition, I have to be crazy plan: say, I'm not sad, I'm wrong but not sad (do not know how to explain it ... so do not ask questions) and all I have my ramblings anyway I thought this only gave me when tobacco for giving me a shot of truth-ha, technical problem, I have no gun, I'm just ... to-censored-all. My problems, problems everywhere ... uff, a lot. I suppose one of the drawbacks of being so perceptive, grab the problems as mine. I'm sick of my friends have to find apartment that the run of his house that his parents are in hospital with life in a thread, do stupid things and end up pregnant, to have a heart of glass crashed against a wall a thousand times, that my mother is sick, it is not able to remember the birthday of my nephews (and I complain when nobody remembers mine ....) and other things that happen to me of which I do not even want to talk. But I'm tired of my life to be lies, because if it is what I do: cheat, deceive, manipulate people to let me do and undo, kill me and keep me alive. The worst thing is that if it is a talent (that, or people around me are naive enough to not notice anything).

Do you see that I am about to pull my hair and hit the wall? (No metaphor, it sounds crazy and it made eh hehe ...)

but I'm also tired of not serve crap, I want to find something for which if I serve! my stupid need for attention is focused on: Look at me, am good for something, be happy and proud of me. 1 and a thousand times I curse my need to fit in somewhere. and the truth is that already tried all the puzzles and none fit. I do not know, and I can just with the school when most of my friends work, do something, at least have some type of something that is going to serve one day (I hated the English course, and look at me now love of music in that language) and I what I do?. Crush here in front of a PC, and pretend to study in a crummy school, where my friends are homosexual, a former drug addict, a girl very "happy", a pregnant woman and a married woman of 20 years with a child. Sometimes I end by asking "Where hell I'm going to end? "I mean, because that's Tell me your company and tell you who you are is true (otherwise would not have finished bisexual ... do you? Well, maybe if)

Ufa, I think that after all this blogging is good, but nobody took me read all that was around my head ... well, actually not everything, but the vast majority.

Shit, is 2000 words I started the entry and could follow it and follow it until the end of time, but not worth it, sure we all stopped reading in the second p & # 225; paragraph and do not blame them I would not read me. I myself lazy.

But it boils down to: More than ever I have no fucking

clue.