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Hungry Heart Start Testing and Plans

There are decisions that hurt a little.

People who come to stay, and people who have to leave.

You, you got to go through the same door he saw you come into my life And I

: I hope not regret it one day.

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Great, what I need. Now not only am I a mile a minute, but it also I have the stupid exams Once Again. And what are the 7 and 8 May, I'll tell you how I was. I do not think back to take four 10's in the history of cole so do not make much hope.

Oh yeah, and you know something? every day there are more reasons to feel old. First of all this feel great, then the problems of my friends that I opened my eyes to see that we have no problems in children, and now, friends who are married (to the 19-year ; you, you crazy!). Yes, Roberto is going to marry, do not even know his girlfriend, but he had it coming 3 years, separated by fence to know that reason and now they met again and decided to marry. How nice.

Though knowing that your best male friend (after Giovanni) is getting married gives you terrible jealousy, I swear. Because you can not call it yelling at 3 am, it also ended the night of vodka in the park and all types of strokes on second-degree zero (do not try to understand, just Roberto and I would understand haha), and that you fence to get home at 10 pm, and tell you it does and when it does and you acompañea home to "not miss with a boy. " Nor can I answer your phone and say "they call it then, that Robert is busy with me" as his owner haha. Fuck, Who do you think of marrying at age 19? It is a tremendous madness ... but what makes you happy.

So my busy schedule currently is:

3: Feast of Hugo, Dr.

5: Last night of vodka in the park 7 and 8: Tests

10: Meeting at home (Mother's Day), Dr.

17: Doctor

23: Feast Day "student disque" lol

24: Doctor

29: Wedding of Robert

31: Doctor

And that, I'm just saying the most relevant. Puff ... that flooded 10 days busy schedule haha! and me was that I had something to do 1 a month ... I miss him now haha. Anyway. I'm going because I have to sleep (stupid meetings, stupid politics, stupid López Obrador, my stupid work mother)

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Lost In your voice


"Strange as the voice and the smell of a guy can make me die by the end: I love that voice that says" I'm man "and that scent so varied that you remember your skin -

is stupid what you do and think when pressed to stop feeling like this: before I cut (as I said , dark past that I do not like much talking) now: spending 20 pesos for two seconds

your voice.

Cursed be the day to save your phone number on the agenda of my mother, and glorious is the time I found it. Compulsively now part of my phone and I am sure that from me again enter "and you got over" and I'll delete it but now I know that is on the agenda of my mother and will be suffering the vicious circle with your email address-no doubt my-thank heaven changed . Now I just hope it does not happen again delete it and add that if you call it of continued stay in bankruptcy soon. (Not to mention that: it is unsettling)

A "Hello?" In your mouth and I can live and breathe again, as if it were broken. (And in fact it was, only slightly down)

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should be doing homework, but needed to this because I am "philosophical" lately, and I can better describe what I feel. I had never tried to describe this before. I do not know, I have this compulsion to record things (what I eat, what I do, I climb the steps) or to seek evidence of them (photographs, newspapers old witnesses ...) why is it that interests me right? In short, I turn away at that issue now.

Sometimes it happens that I do not know what day I am, especially when I write, or when it is night and eh asleep, or waking, I'm in a parallel universe where I do not know if this is the time of Hitler (idol), Christmas 2005 or April 2008, the space-time altogether. I do not know if I'm in my room in London drinking in a bar with Joshua (read those who read my novel) I know nothing, sometimes I feel so confused that I need to lose connecting with the real world to find out what happens. Yes, I think that might sound a little crazy, not like looking at my watch around the clock or do not fix it, but the truth is that no, that currently do not understand anything, it's like not to see clearly. See where I go, I do not understand where I am, whether it is day night, if I'm late for something.

Sometimes I tend to remember things, and that is where most lose the space-time, I do not know if I'm having a coffee in my grandparents' house or about to cut my wrist in my old home. Sometimes I can even re-living things (contradicciones.. That's me, but too chicken to have memory, I do) and do not know where I was doing and I relive that feeling, then immediately I can feel that choking again and not understand anything.

ah why I never liked the silence at home, why not give me a clear sign of reality. I love that my grandfather put the game strong and scream when they put the goal or fail, that my cousin cry and laugh, my grandmother walk with those heels that make a noise that can never be & # 237; to confuse my mother sneeze, talk or just to see if I'm okay (if it does, I guess you noticed my girl deshubicación space-time) or somebody - who is "a sign of life. Why do I get signals from where I am.

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Problems - Solutions

Well, my life now has more of the former than the latter, but I've decided that if I can not be part of the solution at least try to stop being part of the damn problem, because I get bad and end up hindering rather than helping:

enough to have all the

problem to the local girl that although I I'm not saying that no one reacts well as I do and is completely healthy, it gets crazy and crazier. Although still not be my fault that is perceptive of the whole vibe

around.

Ok, do not respond well to low levels of stress begin to take on higher levels.

Even if it means continuing the ancient story of my life trying to please everyone anonymously. In fact I never stopped being the story of my life alone I really like to believe I have control of things when it is not. Anyway. I guess all this delegate more responsibility so if I suddenly disappear, do not worry, I will return. Maybe just maybe I have much work to write here. Although I have no intention of abandoning. Oh yeah ..

none but my mother noticed (and that made her happy) but I made a new hairstyle eh ... leave aside the bloody fashion and bangs on the face kilometer. (Bah, what do you say? Like I'm letting bangs, only less)

Now I must go, I have to go to school and even now is not done half the things I planned for today.

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hatred of me and other gems

You know something? if there is something I do not bank, is to have many flaws (though Santi tell me not to count them, another shortcoming is that I can not help it), if he had no memory of chicken, and remember all that I am on the d & # 237; to how to put on a list, I think I would go for the number 1000, to say little. If we speak of a list of virtues ... I do not think over 20.

And no, not that I value, is nothing but the truth, and sometimes the truth is beautiful, a sometimes (as in this case) can not be, and so am I, so eh always said, I made imperfection teenager or woman that I think, hehe. Sometimes people do not understand how there are so damn perfect, without error, without a flaw, without anything, the kind that you hate just because a part of you even admire. And second, am I that I have of defects everything they have virtues.

course, is that people like me have much to envy others, I'd settle for having one thing I do not know, a nice smile, expressive eyes, a talent. .. I know I, but no, I have that stupid smile only way to one side more I practice smiling on the opposite side I can not, or think I'm snarled ; endo (in fact, gruñíay girl was smiling my way ...) and on both sides just smile when I think of Sam as a way of showing I'm happy, but unfortunately is not voluntary, and my eyes do not say anything, from high had to have the most common eye color of the fucking world, so even that. And talent, I said, and hey-I have found. Not one.

is one of the things that I thank my mother, despite their million and one reasons to be envious, and I have, most of the time, I'm not destructive, I do not go around saying "if I can not have / be this or that, you do not "Oh yeah, it's nice to realize that at least I'm a bit more desirable than others. While that does not make me entirely desirable right? (No, not really. And if you do not believe me ask all my friends ... well, not Laura. Sure they're sick of my hobbies / personalities changing / bipolar / egotism / blah blah blah .)

You know something else? I hate when on way I get well, and not that long lashes out against me, directly or not, if that is the only time where achievement to write a lot, you see? This blog is what? "60 entries? and the longest if not test, these are my ramblings-like puking butterflies-in fact I think you said hey, I just do not get tired of hating me for being so .. . well, as I am. Because finally, if this is not being crazy, I know it is time. Sometimes I think if I'm not an asylum, is because my family has a fear "that say" not limits. Living with a local would not be a limit, no sir. We support the crazy, and nobody says it is.

The downside is they can not hide for long I'm crazy, because I literally think and behave as such, perhaps that's why we always tell me "shut up" at least once, and when we go with important people tell me "where you say something ..." haha, although I admit I love that they do not know why. But hey, is that sometimes they do not say because they fear they notice I'm crazy, if not more on the say, and hey learned to live with the family aversion. In fact, the other day I went to the doctor put that little song "I love you - Nigga" diag, I hate. We were on the bus and said "Well, now I have to hear barking dogs in my house, I do not know how people pay to hear that" I hear all the bus, because I turned to see, and my mother made a face of earth swallow me, who only managed to say "shut up, shut up!"

Sometimes I wonder to all this: for the hell am I here? I do not know, maybe they needed clogs in the world, this might be a good mission (and if I'm good at meeting): clog haha. Oh yeah, put a sign that says: do you need who interfere? 24x7x365 is clogged. Nah, on second thought I doubt anyone who wants to get in the way haha. Not in my school, which is like the 3rd see in this year that I want to run (and that this year, than in the past were 1 they wanted and they did hahaha 1) duty & # 237; to learn to keep my mouth shut and be sheep and do whatever pleases them to their majesties.

But this right, well ... I know, eh never had good manners. In my house they spend complaining about the way I answer ... in fact ... everywhere.

addition, I have to be crazy plan: say, I'm not sad, I'm wrong but not sad (do not know how to explain it ... so do not ask questions) and all I have my ramblings anyway I thought this only gave me when tobacco for giving me a shot of truth-ha, technical problem, I have no gun, I'm just ... to-censored-all. My problems, problems everywhere ... uff, a lot. I suppose one of the drawbacks of being so perceptive, grab the problems as mine. I'm sick of my friends have to find apartment that the run of his house that his parents are in hospital with life in a thread, do stupid things and end up pregnant, to have a heart of glass crashed against a wall a thousand times, that my mother is sick, it is not able to remember the birthday of my nephews (and I complain when nobody remembers mine ....) and other things that happen to me of which I do not even want to talk. But I'm tired of my life to be lies, because if it is what I do: cheat, deceive, manipulate people to let me do and undo, kill me and keep me alive. The worst thing is that if it is a talent (that, or people around me are naive enough to not notice anything).

Do you see that I am about to pull my hair and hit the wall? (No metaphor, it sounds crazy and it made eh hehe ...)

but I'm also tired of not serve crap, I want to find something for which if I serve! my stupid need for attention is focused on: Look at me, am good for something, be happy and proud of me. 1 and a thousand times I curse my need to fit in somewhere. and the truth is that already tried all the puzzles and none fit. I do not know, and I can just with the school when most of my friends work, do something, at least have some type of something that is going to serve one day (I hated the English course, and look at me now love of music in that language) and I what I do?. Crush here in front of a PC, and pretend to study in a crummy school, where my friends are homosexual, a former drug addict, a girl very "happy", a pregnant woman and a married woman of 20 years with a child. Sometimes I end by asking "Where hell I'm going to end? "I mean, because that's Tell me your company and tell you who you are is true (otherwise would not have finished bisexual ... do you? Well, maybe if)

Ufa, I think that after all this blogging is good, but nobody took me read all that was around my head ... well, actually not everything, but the vast majority.

Shit, is 2000 words I started the entry and could follow it and follow it until the end of time, but not worth it, sure we all stopped reading in the second p & # 225; paragraph and do not blame them I would not read me. I myself lazy.

But it boils down to: More than ever I have no fucking

clue.

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The new: Blow me a Shot

the end, as you will see if I made the changes. In a strange way Why Not?, But after all did not leave, still as a subtitle haha. I keep trying to be my philosophy of life, although not always heed. Lately I go so wrong with the Why Not. By the way, before I say something, I know that right would be "Give me a Shot to Remember" Buuut not matter, I like how it sounds with Blow, say less repetitive. Why is it called that? Easy, that whenever something goes wrong tell me "* Mir imagination is given a shot in the head *" haha, although I speak more on msn that has more grace right? And if they found some insurance, but I did not invent the title. It is part-modified, and what I said in the song The Sharpest Lives by MCR. I'm just damn traumatized with that song-and Dead! -

Anyway, do not want to talk about the changes in me, quite simply already realizing they will, I hope.

What else I can tell? Nothing, I think. I'm on the verge of collapse, but in short: problems of being like me.

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Why Not .... Will? Overcome Fear

I do not know, not to say that I leave the blog, for nothing.

blog I love this shit I wear, that does nothing but I still love it.

just that, my life is a complete disaster and I am putting in place (oh yeah, I'm cool) ... but I realize that the changes I made and I do not quite fit with the blog ... I think something needs to be adapted.

I have no insurance, but I think Why Not going to be to be: Blow me a Shot to Remember. That

longer name so hahaha.

After all, the name is not important, my essence is changing (or changing in any case) and make changes or not, I want to know something.

I'm not the same.

the girl was just stupid, submissive and amorous. That would never have existed.

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Why one day?

Remember that feeling of growing feeling that came earlier this year, and a little later? Well, today turned. It Naty Mama (my grandmother) asked me to print a paper I needed but Horror! I have no printer, it had to mean something, or evaded the issue by saying he had no time or that the premises had miraculously closed or some other excuse for the category & # 237; to ... Or face my fear of asking for things in stores and asked that I print the mentioned document. the end, I decided that enough of being at the mercy of my fears (I hope could say the same of abandonment), he would not die for asking me to print a file right? Not only that, I value the rest of the day to take the shuttle and ask if they would divert to go to the pharmacy, stationery ah! and to ask the social science teacher if I had taken my broom (is that today we had to do general cleaning of Salony you know, you have to take transport, say, their material).

I know, I have fear of things stupidly simple, but so am I guess the fear comes from not wanting to make a fool of myself haha but good things went well today.

overcome fear .... A diao Why forever? Well ... So we'll know then.